I remember having a discussion with a loved one about Needs and Wants.
What started out with my explaining the marketing definitions of Needs and Wants (Yes, I'm a student of Marketing) turned out to be a conversation full of discovery, of the self, of our states of mind, of our needs and our wants.
My understanding of these is as follows:
Needs are those "requirements" which just have to be met. A need is from the deep inside of one's self and cannot be replaced or eliminated. For instance, hunger & thirst are physical needs, love and companionship are emotional needs, and so on...
Wants are those "options" that are available to us to satisfy those needs. For instance, Hunger could be satisfied by a sandwich or a burger, or pasta or plain old curd rice. What one chooses among these available options is a want. Going by this definition, a want can be replaced, modified or even eliminated depending on various factors like availability, cost etc...
{I know the Merovingian is gonna correct me on this one - I love it when he does}
When I looked back at myself through this discussion that I had, there was a phase in my life where I had only needs and hardly any wants. I mean, there was a few things I needed to survive with , and anything would just do. I was so intent on giving away everything. Somewhere at the back of my mind and in the bottom of my heart, I knew I had nothing to lose, I had nothing at all.
Then came a phase where I was made to understand that I was not living life to the fullest and there was so much to see, so much to feel, so much to look forward to. I started giving a little importance to my wants (read as - became a little selfish, started thinking about myself) and in a way I started developing for myself, a small set of wants to satisfy a small set of needs around a core - Myself.
Now, at this day, I see myself weakened, by having given into my wants, by choosing to be satisfied only by a specific set of options. I never once, did foresee these options not being available to me. Not once did I feel, that I may have to look out of other options should the one I have not be there. And yes, reality does slap you in the face. Hard.
So then, I see myself one again at the crossroads of choice, at the brink of a turnaround, good or bad, I won't judge, but definitely important. What I choose to do with myself will decide upon what my future has for me.
I will choose, I will survive. For I do not believe in succumbing to my wants. I must admit, I feel choked, unable to breathe, unable to give up my most precious possession. But then, what good is it to hold on to something/someone as your own, and no let the world have it, when it is only fair to share.
I see the need to give up on my wants (I know this sounds crazy - but this is meant only for those who will understand). I feel the need to give up, on the wants beyond which I have chosen not to see. I see myself wanting to look beyond, almost needing to, rather "having" to.
Then, I tell myself, it's a conscious choice I will have to make, and stick to. For I want to live, happily, I need to.
I will.
No matter what.
No matter how.
No matter why.
For those who think they have understood what I have written, THANK YOU. For those who have not, I have just one thing to say - Never Mind.
